I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
