I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
