I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
whose ass print is on the piano?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
