It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
