Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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