hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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