dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
