Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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