Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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