Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
