I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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