It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
