if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
