Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
