I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize