I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
How's work?
Spinning.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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