i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
