Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Can you bring me the toilet please
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
