hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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