The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
