She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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