was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
