I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
