She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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