i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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