Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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