scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
