Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
