I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
