Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize