Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
