well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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