you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
