Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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