after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
