My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
