So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I AM VODKA MAN
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
