I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
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