So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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