chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
