i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
