On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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