You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
