i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
