just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
two words...techno handjob
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
