I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize