Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
