yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
