I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
