He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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