Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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