Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
