I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
