He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
he high fived his dick after we had sex
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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