The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
We smell like vodka and hangover
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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