and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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