Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
