in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
