I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
