its not stalking. its research.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
