Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My feet surprised me
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