our cab driver is having phone sex.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
