i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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