I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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