Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
