I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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