Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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