Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
