And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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