He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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