Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
