I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Sorry my hands just texted you
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
