Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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