i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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