McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
