He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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