Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
