then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
