i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
