RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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