The maid of honor just puked.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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