Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
