I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
These tits shall not be calmed
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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